"habit", I havenot think about this word before, or should I say I tried my best to avoid thinking this word, but now I have to face the truth, I have developed too much bad habits already.
There are times I tried to change it, and it did work for two or three weeks, but then something would happen, and I just went back to the old habits again, this kind of iterative pattern comes and goes all the time. Is it the strong will that I'm lack of counts the most??
There is an old says in China goes like "春困秋乏" which means "One feels dizziness in spring and fatigue in autumn.", this is absolutely the right discription of me recently, I cannot remember since when I began to be like this, feeling tired all day long, cannot get up in the morning, have trouble to fall asleep in the night, I even came to a conclusion that this is my climacteric, lol.... I know, this couldnot be true, I could just wish for the best that this period will vanish sooooon.
Checking my calendars, I began to text Kihyun since May, which means this has been going on for over five months, I didnot thought this could last this long at the begining, and also I never thought this would come to an end without a sign, yes, after five months' frequent contact, I start to "forget" to do this anymore, and he also starts to forget to text back, so, things go back to the normal track, I suppose. To discribe my feeling right now, " relief " maybe correct, it doesnot mean that I treat this as some kind of burden, but frankly I'm happy that I finally learned how to let it go, the things or feelings that isn't right at the very beginning, I find my way to get over it till this day. I guess it's right that people get wiser as they getting older, it's an endless process of learning.
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